The price of the pants suit

Did you hear the one about the judge who sued over a pair of pants? No, it's not a joke, it's an actual court case that was decided last June. Roy Pearson, an administrative law judge in Washington, D.C., always took his clothes to the same place to have them dry cleaned and altered. The shop's owners, Mr. and Mrs. Chung, had done business with Pearson for years. One day they lost a pair of his pants. So he sued.

For $54 million.

He also rejected multiple settlement offers from the Chung family, demanding his multi-million award. According to Pearson, the "Satisfaction Guaranteed" sign in the store meant that his satisfaction had to be guaranteed. And if he would only be satisfied with $54 million, so be it. Naturally, the legal issues are somewhat more sophisticated than that, but my characterization of the case is scarcely less credible than Pearson's actual suit.

In what is perhaps a rare triumph of reason over obsession, Pearson lost his lawsuit. The D.C. Superior Court rejected Pearson's legal arguments, despite his claiming to have spent over 1,400 hours preparing for trial. While on the witness stand, he even teared up and asked for a break when telling his story of the missing trousers. But the theatrics were all for naught; Judge Judith Bartnoff decided in the Chung's favor, making them prevailing the prevailing party but heavily in debt from legal fees. Fortunately for the Chungs, hundreds of people around the country have helped contribute to their legal defense fund, almost paying off the legal fees. Unfortunately for the Chungs, Judge Pearson is preparing to appeal the decision.

Now it looks like Judge Pearson is going to be out of a job, as the commission that reviews administrative law judges (ALJ's) is not going to recommend that he be reappointed for another 10 years. That's actually very impressive -- it is extremely hard for ALJ's to be removed. They aren't responsible to the agencies they work for, and they don't even have required hours or minimum standards. Being an ALJ is one of the cushiest jobs in government, so losing that job takes quite a feat. Thankfully, soon-to-be-ex-Judge Pearson's $54 million suit over a pair of pants was flagrant enough that it has done the trick.