Fashion police

Did you see the headline about the girl that was almost thrown off a plane for wearing skimpy clothing? Lots of people on the net are all in a tizzy about it. The 23-year-old college co-ed nearly got bounced from a Southwest flight for wearing a tight top and a miniskirt. Only when she agreed to pull her skirt down a bit and pull up the neckline of her top did they let her stay on the flight. Southwest has gotten a lot of criticism over the incident, especially since the girl's top didn't have a particularly low neck-line. The girl insists she can't understand why there was a problem, and that she wore much less when she went to work. (She's a waitress at Hooters.)

Even though a lot of people are up in arms about Southwest's decision, I think it's the best idea ever. I think they should make a whole new branch of the Transportation Safety Authority dedicated exclusively to fashion. It would make flying a much friendlier experience.

"Sir, just what exactly were you thinking this morning when you put that on?"

"Excuse me, ma'am," I'm afraid that our airline has a weight limit for wearing spandex."

"Sir, did your wife see you before you left the house this morning?"

"Did you give yourself that haircut?"

Now that I think about it, I think the Fashion Police should be regularly posted at a variety of public venues, including amusement parks, sporting events, and awards ceremonies. Would the Oscars be awesome if the Fashion Police were stationed on the red carpet!? Forget Joan and Melissa Rivers -- I want to see someone with statutory authority over the flagrant violations of the laws of style.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Hudson, but even though you have a great voice, you really need a new stylist. You're going to have to come with me."

Or at Wimbledon:

"Ma'am, you do realize you are participating in a sporting event, not a sorority costume party."

Some day, when I'm in charge, things are going to change. :-)