This Day in History - Satan wins his case

On December 3, 1971, one of my favorite federal court cases was handed down, giving Satan a legal victory. Yes, that's right, the Devil himself got sued and won. (Feel free to make any "devil's advocate" jokes here.) It's one of my favorite court cases to read, and since it's so short, I've reproduced it here with a little commentary and explanation of terms in the footnotes. And yes, this is a real court case.

54 F.R.D. 282

UNITED STATES v. SATAN AND HIS STAFF
W.D.Pa., 1971

United States District Court, W. D. Pennsylvania.
UNITED STATES ex rel. Gerald MAYO
v.
SATAN AND HIS STAFF.
Misc. No. 5357.

Dec. 3, 1971.

Gerald Mayo, pro se.¹

MEMORANDUM ORDER
WEBER, District Judge.
Plaintiff, alleging jurisdiction under 18 U.S.C. §241, 28 U.S.C. §1343, and 42 U.S.C. §1983 prays for leave to file a complaint for violation of his civil rights in forma pauperis. He alleges that Satan has on numerous occasions caused plaintiff misery and unwarranted threats, against the will of plaintiff, that Satan has placed deliberate obstacles in his path and has caused plaintiff's downfall.

Plaintiff alleges that by reason of these acts Satan has deprived him of his constitutional rights.

We feel that the application to file and proceed in forma pauperis² must be denied. Even if plaintiff's complaint reveals a prima facie³ recital of the infringement of the civil rights of a citizen of the United States, the Court has serious doubts that the complaint reveals a cause of action upon which relief can be granted by the court. We question whether plaintiff may obtain personal jurisdiction over the defendant in this judicial district.⁴ The complaint contains no allegation of residence in this district. While the official reports disclose no case where this defendant has appeared as defendant there is an unofficial account of a trial in New Hampshire where this defendant filed an action of mortgage foreclosure as plaintiff.⁵ The defendant in that action was represented by the preeminent advocate of that day, and raised the defense that the plaintiff was a foreign prince with no standing to sue in an American Court. This defense was overcome by overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Whether or not this would raise an estoppel in the present case we are unable to determine at this time.

If such action were to be allowed we would also face the question of whether it may be maintained as a class action. It appears to meet the requirements of Fed.R. of Civ.P. 23 that the class is so numerous that joinder of all members is impracticable, there are questions of law and fact common to the class, and the claims of the representative party is typical of the claims of the class. We cannot now determine if the representative party will fairly protect the interests of the class.⁶

We note that the plaintiff has failed to include with his complaint the required form of instructions for the United States Marshal for directions as to service of process.⁷

For the foregoing reasons we must exercise our discretion to refuse the prayer of plaintiff to proceed in forma pauperis.

It is ordered that the complaint be given a miscellaneous docket number and leave to proceed in forma pauperis be denied.

W.D.Pa., 1971
U. S. ex rel. Mayo v. Satan and his Staff
54 F.R.D. 282

_____________________
¹ Pro se is a Latin term that means that the person is representing his or herself in court without an attorney. In this case, the guy probably couldn't find an attorney who was willing to embarass him or herself by filing a case against Satan.
² "In forma pauperis" is another Latin legal term meaning that the court would waive filing fees, which can be quite expensive in a case like this.
³ Even more Latin mumbo jumbo. A "prima facie" case means that the appellant or plaintiff has shown all the necessary information required by law. As you can probably tell, the court is pretty skeptical that Mr. Mayo can actually prove that Satan and/or his minions have violated Mr. Mayo's constitutional rights.
⁴ I think this is actually pretty funny. In order to try a case, a court has to have jurisdiction over someone. You can't really sue someone from China in your home state unless they have some connection to that state. It Here, the court is questioning whether it has jurisdiction over Satan.
⁵ Yes, that means that Satan sued someone in New Hampshire. I actually like the legal tactic of the defense attorney in the New Hampshire case, arguing that Satan is a "foreign prince" who can't sue in the U.S. I guess the tactic didn't work in the old New Hampshire case and Satan still could sue the guy, but the court in this case is still skeptical.
⁶ You may already know this, but a class action lawsuit is when one person or a small group of people sue someone (or more often, a company) on behalf of all similarly situated people. One of the requirements for a case to be certified as a class action is that the named parties adequately represent the interests of all the people in the class. The problem in this case is that Mr. Mayo would have to show that his alleged temptations and pitfalls were the same or similar as other people's, and that he would represent their interests in a lawsuit against Satan. I can only assume that Satan worshipers would be able to remove themselves from the class.
⁷ This is, without a doubt, the best line in the whole case. In order to sue somebody, you have to give them written notice that they are being sued. In federal court, this usually requires federal marshals to go to the defendant's place of residence or business and serve them with a copy of the complaint. Except Mr. Mayo can't exactly provide the marshals with an address of where to find the defendant, because the defendant is Satan. And that would mean that he'd have to tell the marshals to go to hell.