Paperback

My wife's grandfather is an avid reader, and almost every time he visits he brings a book or two for us to read. We've discovered some fun books that way, although I haven't had the time to read anything he's brought by in almost a year. But I did read the back cover of a book he left for us a while back, and it cracked me up. Here's a portion of the teaser:

An ambitious young congressional assistant, Jim Dillon has discovered a time bomb hidden away in America's Constitution—a provision that could be used to wrest power from the Chief Executive; a long -forgotten clause that could incite a devastating constitutional crisis. . .and plunge the country into chaos.

Whoa! Sounds like exciting stuff! And with recommendations from Stephen Coonts and Rush Limbaugh on the cover, how could I resist reading this book?

I found that paragraph laughable, although I may have to explain a bit of why. First of all, the U.S. Constitution is one of the most scrutinized documents ever produced, perhaps surpassed only by some religious texts. It's not that long of a document, so it really doesn't have much to hide. As it turns out, the "time bomb" to which the author refers is Art. I § 8, which states in relevant part: "The Congress shall have Power . . . To declare War, grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal, and make Rules concerning Captures on Land and Water." One may safely surmise that in the course of this doubtlessly thrilling novel, Congress will try to usurp power from the President using that clause, or some other such dramatic political gambit.

The only problem is, it just doesn't work that way. When one branch of government (or an agency/commission within a branch) asserts a power that it does not have (or it received through improper congressional delegation), the other branches don't sit idly by. Every high school student who slept through less than half of the civics classes understands that the separation of powers doctrine and the checks-and-balances structure function to keep each branch of government from exerting too much power. What they don't realize is that "constitutional crises" happen slowly and undramatically for the most part. When the situations actually blow up, it's a political crisis, not a constitutional crisis. Desegregation, Watergate, and the Clinton impeachment all had their bases in a potential imbalance of power among the branches of government. But the legal underpinings of those situations were largely ignored. Which isn't surprising, because let's face it: legal stuff is boring. It takes an imaginative writer to make legal stuff seem interesting. Even John Grisham's legal thrillers are only thrilling because of some other plot, like murder or intrigue or suspense. So even though the author is a University of Virginia law grad, I don't have high hopes for any exciting legal parts. Because law is boring.

I still might read that book, though. It's summer, after all, which is a good time to read silly, pulpy novels. But if I do read the book, it won't be because of the legal aspect. It will be because Rush Limbaugh recommended it.*
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* Words can't even describe how much I'm joking when I say that.