Thoughts in the supermarket checkout line
- The biggest misnomer in the publishing world is People Magazine's list of the 100 Most Beautiful People. Are these people really the most beautiful? Of course not. They're just the most popular right now. Beauty has nothing to do with it. If Johnny Depp is really that attractive, he would have been declared the most sexy man long before he surfaced in Pirates of the Caribbean. Why wasn't he even on the list before his career took off? Could it be that beauty is a figment of popularity and not actual looks? Perish the thought. Although, if that were the case, the 100 Most Beautiful People list would merely represent those with the most recent and successful plastic surgeries. On second thought, no. That's gross. (See Goldie Hawn, etc.)
- According to the tabloids, almost every couple is perpetually on the rocks. Bill and Hillary are about to end it. Brad and Angelina just had a fight. David and Victoria Beckham are splitting up. Pamela Anderson and whomever she's married to at the moment are on the breaks. Of course, celebrity couples break up so often that most tabloids can claim they were right all along.
- Is there some sort of industry requirement that women's magazines have a "sex secret" or "sex tip" column in each issue? I don't remember ever seeing one without it. And are there really any sex secrets left? Each new issue declares some new trick that will inevitably "blow his mind." And yet, I find it extremely unlikely that these claims can be true month after month. Though there seems to be no lack of people willing to believe it. But practically speaking, if someone really did discover something new about sex, they wouldn't publish it in a two-bit weekly. They'd patent the process and make millions. (I love the idea of patenting a sex move. I also think the patent application would be hilarious, especially the discussion of the originality elements.)
3 comments:
True, but it would be the enforcement of the new move patent that would be hilarious. "Well, honey, we now owe Virgil Baker $3.50." "Actually, dear, it's an even $7.00, remember? Should we just write him a check?"
And the word verification just named the new process for us: "snuzz"
And you may want to add a "t" up there in the title, Peter.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the supermarket checkout line, I shall fear no overpricing. For Thine is the food storage, and the three month supply forever and ever. Amen.
I actually did a mini-study of celebrity marriages once and found that they didn't have a higher divorce rate than anyone else. I figure that the most attention-getting couples are often the most emotionally unstable, which is why they're getting all the attention in the first place (and why their relationships are often such train wrecks).
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