In which we go to the theater

Last night Becca and I went to the opening night performance of the traveling production of Beauty and the Beast at the Tennessee Performing Arts Center. But before I talk about that, let's take a small quiz.

Which of the following events occurred during the performance?

   a. Small children screaming in the row behind us. 

   b. Woman texting on her iPhone during the entirety of the show.

   c. Boy making loud farting noises by blowing into his elbow.

   d. Children standing and pretending to conduct the musical numbers.

   e. All of the above.

I bought our tickets late last week when we persuaded my mother in law to watch the girls so we could go on a date. I knew that the show might be popular with families and children—this is Disney stuff, after all—so I decided not to get the Saturday matinee tickets to try to avoid the kiddie crowds. But it didn't matter, there were a ton of kids anyway, even though the show wrapped up after 10 pm. A lot of them were wearing princess dresses, which sort of figures. At any given moment you could hear one or two toddlers crying during the show, and I saw a lot of parents carrying asleep children out of the theater at the end of the performance. I empathized with many of those parents, who probably were dragged along by their young Disney Princess fans, or perhaps just wanted to go to a show and couldn't get a babysitter. But the young children and babies obviously should have never been there, and it was equally obvious that many of the boys would have rather stayed home.

There were other sorts of bad theater neighbors too. The four beer-swilling girls in halter dresses that first sat in front of us were annoying, but at least they stopped texting when the lights went out. I wouldn't have minded sharing space with them too much. Except they were intentionally sitting in the wrong seats, and when the two large family groups arrived to take those seats midway through the second musical number, there was one of those awkward "I think you're in our seats" moments. So instead, we had two textaholic moms and their several inattentive kids in front of us. Fart-noises boy and his sister, the cranky toddler, weren't actually as distracting as the moms. They kept taking grainy pictures of the stage with their iPhones and texting their friends. One of them texted so much that I had her unlock code memorized by intermission (1472). Also, in an unrelated note, I think blue jeans and t-shirts should be prohibited from the theater.

Despite our neighbors, we enjoyed the show. The strongest parts of the play come from the movie; the added music isn't nearly as good. The play is much more slap-stick than the cartoon film, which really plays to the child audience, but it weakens some of the characters. The Beast, for example, is supposed to be frightening at first and then sympathetic later on. But in the play, he clowns around and acts like a child, just like the rest of the characters, which doesn't make for an engaging romantic male lead. The acting was pretty good in general, although Mrs. Pott's irregular cockney accent was truly atrocious.

Some of my favorite parts include the clever puppeteering for the wolves, and the impressively acrobatic antics of LeFou. The "Be Our Guest" number was especially strong, and very entertaining. I sort of liked that the  major male roles, the Beast and Gaston, are barritones. No high-voiced girly men in this play. :-)

Strangely enough, seeing the play made me want to watch the movie again. It really is a very good movie, and it came out in a time when animated movies were not taken so seriously as they are now. And yet it was nominated for the Oscar for Best Picture. Maybe I'll sit down with the girls this weekend and have some bonding time with a Disney classic. It will probably involve some crying at times, and maybe some pretend conducting, but as long as I'm spared the perpetual texting and fart noises, I'll be happy.

Photo credit: Ian Muttoo.